Tissues for Mommy

One week from tonight I will be tucking my PRESCHOOLER into bed for the first time. I can not think that, say that, or type that without tears streaming down my face.

Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond thrilled with the school we have chosen for the Tatiman. He is BEYOND excited to start school. He has been counting down the days since we visited back in March. We told him that he couldn’t start preschool until he turned three. The first words out of his mouth on the morning of his third birthday were “Can I go to preschool today?” He is ready.

I am not.

For the Tatiman, this is the beginning of everything. This is his first foray out into the real world. This is his first chance to make friends without my influence. This is his first exposure to Spanish and raising goats and sitting in a reading circle and on and on and on…

For me, this is an end. I won’t have my little guy to snuggle on slow rainy mornings, eating golden raisins while we plan our day. He won’t be my sous chef when I go on a baking binge, shaking our granola bar mixture, or stealing blueberries from my muffin mix. I won’t be able to protect him from mean kids. I can’t read every snack label to make sure there is no kiwi and on and on and on…

But just like I knew, with all of my heart, that I needed to stay home with him after he was born, I know now, with all of my heart, that I need to let him take this first big step toward independence.

Our school supply shopping list included one box of tissues for the teacher. I was stoked when I got a 2-for-1 deal; I figured a teacher can never have too many tissues. Well…I’m thinking that I might have to keep that tissue box in the car for me.