The premise of the article is best summed up with the following quote:
Specifically: the entire point of Hanukkah is to celebrate people who died rather than practice any religion other than Judaism. And to celebrate that AND a holiday that celebrates the birth of someone who Christians believe is the son of God does not make sense.
It didn't sit well with me, and I've been composing my thoughts on the subject all day. And here is where I feel the author gets it wrong: She is confusing "celebrate" and "observe."
My preggo brain is preventing me from really putting things together in any sort of succint manner, so I'm just going to muddle through my thoughts. Bear with me, please.
The subject has been on my mind over the last few weeks because, let's face it, Christmas is everywhere (and has been, commercially, since Novemeber 1st). I've mentioned before that we are part of an interfaith family. Although both my husband and I are Jewish and we are raising our children in a Jewish home, we have relatives who are Christian. In fact, since Irene destroyed our home, we have been living with Christian family members. We have chosen to be open about our differences in beliefs on a level that our children can understand. For instance, the Tatiman knows that he is Jewish so he can't eat pork--and that some people in his family are not Jewish, so he has to ask them if their food has pork before he takes a bite.
So, back to the Hanukkah/Christmas situation. The house we are living in is decorated for Christmas. My boys spent the better part of a weekend helping their grandparents decorate (and 're-decorate', ha!) with Santas and candy canes and gingerbread houses and lights and a tree. The boys loved it. The grandparents loved it. As the decorations came out, so did stories about the boys great grandparents, and great-great grandparents, travels, milestones, and family memories. The weekend spent decorating was full of celebrations.
A few nights later, I heard sobs coming from the back seat of my car. We were driving down a street in which every single home was decorated with beautiful lights for Christmas. The Tatiman was inconsolable because we cannot decorate our house for Christmas. I tried to explain to him that we can decorate our house for Hanukkah, but because we are Jewish and live in a Jewish home, he is right that we can not decorate for Christmas. He wanted no part of my explanation. I decided to rectify the situation by picking him up from school with a surprise trip to a store that I knew would be full of Hannukah decorations. We drove over an hour to the store, armed with my husband's credit card; I had no budget in mind, because I wanted the Tatiman to feel like his house could be the most beautiful for Hannukah. We arrived...and the Tatiman wanted none of it. Not a single decoration. More tears ensued because no matter what, his house would not be the most beautiful for Christmas. Honestly, it was heartbreaking. I did buy the tackiest string of light-up dreidels I could find in the hopes that once we are home, he will find some joy in seeing them light up his room each night.
I can understand what he feels like. I have a favorite pizza shop. Their pepperoni pizza smells amazing. Like more amazing than the most amazing smell you can imagine. Especially when I'm pregnant, which I tend to be most of the time. When we are there, my mouth waters for that pizza. It is truly intoxicating. Unfortunately, they don't have any vegan pepperoni to subsitute. That's life. Sometimes your convictions don't let you do something you might otherwise love doing. I believe those convictions make me a stronger person, and I believe it is important to raise my children with those same convictions. It's not always fun, but I do believe it is always worth it--and one day, my Tatiman will understand that.
The next day I ventured into the Tatiman's school-a small private school with kids from all different religions and cultural backrounds--to talk to his class about Hanukkah. His teacher pulled me aside to tell me that he had refused to take part in the St. Lucia day celebration because he "is Jewish, so he can't do Christian things" (in his own words). My heart broke again.
To me, a celebration is just that--a festive occasion that you share with friends and family. Celebrations make memories. Life is about memories. As much as I want my little guy to understand he is Jewish, I want him to see the beauty in other traditions, holidays, and beliefs.
An observance is a completely different event. An observance commemorates an event, in the case of Christmas, it is commemorating the birth of Jesus. An observance shows commitment to following a set of rules.
In our family, the Christmas celebration is all about Santa Claus, favorite foods, family time, and making memories. There is nothing un-Jewish about that--certainly nothing less Jewish than opening presents on Hanukkah, which has exactly zero to do with the Macabees or the miracle of the oil. Part of our celebration includes thinking of those less fortunate and giving (toys, money, trays of cookies) to the local homeless shelter, and delivering sweets to emergency personel that work on the holiday --a perfectly Jewish concept, if you ask me.
As a Jewish family, we cannot observe Christmas as the birth of Jesus. But I do believe we can celebrate the secular traditions of Christmas without compromising our Jewish beliefs (and hopefully without offending anyone with strongly held Christian beliefs). We can celebrate Christmas without practicing Christianity. We can celebrate a holiday with our family even though it is important to them for different reasons. We can honor their choice to observe the birth of Jesus without challenging our own beliefs. It may not always be easy, especially as my boys get older and ask more questions, but I truly believe we can, and always will, celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas.
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