Book Review: Comeback Moms

“How to Leave Work, Raise Children, and Restart Your Career Even If You Haven’t Had a Job in Years” by Monica Samuels & J. C. Conklin.

This book should be required reading for anybody contemplating becoming a SAHM. The blurb on the front cover says it all:

Millions of educated, professional women are quitting their jobs to stay home and raise their children…You worked hard for your degree and even harder to get to this point in your career…Once you have a baby, your life changes in ways you’d never imagine. Some of your friends and family members may think you’ve gone a little crazy…


Yes. Yes. And Yes.

Comeback Moms is all about strategy—setting the groundwork for one day (even if that day is 10 years away) re-entering the workforce. It is the only book I’ve come across that seems to suggest that women really can do it all—just not all at one time—and that is a marvelous thing.

A few of my favorite tips:

1. Handle money issues up front. As a former divorce lawyer, I know finances lead to the breakup of many-a-marriage. You are an adult, you should not receive an “allowance.” Set a family budget that meets both of your needs. Discuss splurges before you purchase them—this goes for both of you. Nobody wants to stare at a large screen TV that they resent…or feel guilty wearing a hot pair of pumps.

2. Count your blessings. Really. Millions of women would love to be in your shoes. Yes, raising your children is the hardest job in the world. But just because your husband is going to an office every day does not mean he is not also raising your children. It is hard for both of you—for different reasons—acknowledge that. And then think about how lucky you are to be able to spend these precious times at home.

3. Keep your career title. This one really hit home. I remember the first time I had to fill out a form at the pediatricians after I stopped working…I had no idea what to put in the “occupation” section. People do think differently of you when you are ‘just a mom’. So, don’t be ‘just a mom’—be an ‘attorney/stay-at-home-mom’. Or a ‘consultant’ or a ‘writer’—you still are whatever you were before, just on hiatus. Plus, you never know where that next job opportunity might come from.

4. Remind yourself that you are a smart person. Ahhh, the dreaded cocktail party. Another ‘just a mom’ situation. You are still an adult, and you are entitled to enjoy adult conversation.

5. Keep a foot in the door. If you intend to go back to work—ever—make sure you keep up with contacts. Schedule a lunch date once a month. Volunteer in a place that people in your field are likely to be working. Not only will you enjoy staying in the loop, it will keep fresh in the minds of potential future employers.

6. Use the time at home to prepare for your future career. Seems kind of crazy—but think of your time at home as an opportunity to decide what you really want to be when you grow up. If you loved what you did—the decision is probably easy—go back to it. If you didn’t—you can volunteer in any number of potential future career situations—and decide what your passion may be. It is a luxury, don’t miss out on the chance.

In addition to tips for the already-at-home-mom, Comeback Moms offers advice for preparing to leave your career to stay at home. I only wish I had known about this book before I embarked on this adventure…