Something to Talk About

One of my biggest concerns about becoming a SAHM was that I wouldn’t have anything to talk about anymore. I mean, *I* think my kid is cute, but even I don’t want to hear myself repeat the play-by-play of his life each day (“Well, he woke up at 6am…nursed…ate…played…napped…”and repeat). Plus, as an attorney (have I mentioned that Divorce was my primary practice area?), I saw countless marriages fall apart because the parties no longer had anything to talk about. I didn’t want to become boring to my husband, my friends, or myself.

Recently DH and I spent our first weekend away from the Tati-man. We cashed in a gift certificate and stayed in this swanky B&B near Gettysburg. I’ve heard of people that make it a “rule” not to speak about their children when they go out on dates. I, personally, find that ridiculous. On the three hour drive to Taneytown we talked about Tati, about how we both missed him, but were excited to have some time together without worrying about his schedule. We talked about how we would like to handle some issues we foresee in the near future (babyproofing, discipline)…and then we let our conversation naturally flow to other things. Yes, DH talked about his job. Yes, I talked about some of the things that have happened during playgroup. And then something magical happened. We decided to take a Segway tour of the Gettysburg battlefields.

We hadn’t been to Gettysburg since we were kids, and neither of us had ever been on a Segway. As we approached the place where we would pickup the tour, we were nervous and excited. We signed away our lives on their liability waiver, and then suited up with our helmets and headsets. Then, we cheered each other on as we learned to use the little zooming machines—the trick is to not think about balancing, which of course makes you think, exclusively, about balancing. Once skilled in maneuvering, we spent nearly 3 hours Segwaying around, learning all about the battles at Gettysburg—the politics, the soldiers, the surprise attacks—and then it was over. We hopped off our Segways, got our ‘street feet’ back, and continued on our merry way.

That night, at our fabulous 6 course dinner, we both wondered aloud “What do you think would have been different if ‘x’ happened” and “Can you imagine the sight of 23,000 soldiers coming over that hill”…not once did we mention Tati, or DH’s job for that matter, and not even once was there a lull in the conversation.

My point is…just because you cease to work outside you home does not mean you cease to have a life outside of your home. I did not marry DH (or make any of my friends) because we loved to talk about our careers. Just because I no longer have a “career” doesn’t mean that I no longer have things to talk about. Maybe I have to work a little bit harder to make sure I don’t get stuck in the rut of being a mom before I am a person. But so long as I remember that I am a person, with interests and hobbies and dreams…I will never run out of things to say.