Now that your burgers are done grilling, and your pool towels are going through their first of many washer-dryer cycles of the season--I'd like to share our first experience with the increasingly popular "Staycation".
For those of you not in-the-know, a staycation is a vacation where you don't go anywhere--that is, you stay right at home, but act like you are somewhere luxurious. At first glance, it doesn't sound too exciting, right? Au contraire, mon fraire. A staycation is a wonderful excuse to play tourist in your own town, visit all those places that you drive by on a daily basis, discover new places to explore, and eat out as often as you like--all while saving a few bucks, a lot of stress, travel time, and contributing to your local economy. Fabulous--ya see!!
We happen to live in a resort town, although we often scoff at the idea. It is a sleepy little rural town about 3 miles from an island that is mostly famous for its Tiki Bar. The upside is that we are less than 90 minutes from: Baltimore, MD; Annapolis,MD; Washington,DC; and Alexandria, VA. Oh, and the other upside is that if we walk outside our door we are in the woods within walking distance of a lake, the Patuxent River, and the Chesapeake Bay. We can hike, kayak, sail...you name it.
Thanks to DH only working a 4 day week, we got to start our staycation on Friday. We originally planned to head to the National Zoo, but because the weather was sooo gorgeous, we decided the zoo might be too crowded. Since we can go to the zoo whenever we want, we decided to pass--and instead headed up to Annapolis for a little shopping. We headed out during nap time so the Tatiman could sleep in the car. It was a lovely and relaxing day, and we got to take advantage of Memorial Day sales. On our way home we debated where to go for dinner, and settled on a place we have often heard of, but never actually been to. Dinner at the Rod & Reel was actually very tasty, and the price was right. There was a live band playing, so after dinner we ventured outside to dance on the sand. There is nothing sweeter than watching the sky light up in pinks and purples over the Chesapeake Bay, while dancing with your husband and your baby.
Day two, my parents came for a visit. We piled into our car and headed a little bit south to take in Air Expo 09. I had never seen the Blue Angels do their thing, and we thought it was such a great opportunity to be able to do so, so close to home. We hit a traffic snaffu on the way into the airshow, but once we were parked, we got to spend a beautiful day looking at all kinds of airplanes and helicopters, honoring our military veterans, eating fair food (any day with a funnel cake is a great day in my book!), and yes--seeing the Blue Angels up close and personal. It was a ton of fun--and did I mention, entrance to the airshow was FREE. Following the show, we headed onto the island for a yummy fresh-caught seafood dinner. And, we got to take in another beautiful sunset--this one over the Patuxent River.
Day three, DH, the Tatiman, and I needed some exercise! We decided to stay close to home and go for a hike. We went to Calvert Cliffs, popped the Tatiman into the backpack, and hiked the beautiful hike out to the Bay. On our way we saw the landscape change from true woodlands, to wetlands, to marsh, to sand--to beautiful beachfront! We played in the freeezing water, saw a huge black snake, and Tatiman filled every single one of his orifices with sand. After our hike back home we decided we were craving Chinese food, so we went to one of our favorite places and enjoyed.
That brings us to today--we were a little tired after all of our adventures, and decided to play it low key. We hung around the house until after lunch, and then decided to head back to the island for a leisurely stroll. Again, it was great being outside, and nice seeing all of the beautiful waterfront homes' gardens in full bloom. For dinner, we headed to a pizza place that we know and love. And then we came home, snuggled with the Tatiman, and put him to bed.
We spent all day, every day, as a family. We spent less than 5 hours, total, traveling (it would have been less than 3 hours except for the unexpected Air Expo traffic!). We got to sleep in the comfort of our own home every night. We didn't have to pack (and unpack) a suitcase. We spent very little money--just for meals. We didn't have to do any dishes.
I feel more rested today than I have in as long as I can remember, and DH agrees. And, we have a weekend full of wonderful memories.
Staycations are here to stay!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Advice for New Moms...NOT as seen on Today
I admit, the Today Show is my primary news source these days. A few weeks ago, they had a segment featuring two of the show's producers (Mary Ann Zoellner and Alicia Ybarbo) that have written a book about parenting.
Good idea, I thought. I'll add that book to my list of books to review, I thought.
Then, my May issue of Cookie Magazine included an interview with the book's authors. The last question of the interview goes like this:
Cookie Mag: Any essential new-mom advice you turned up that might never occur to most women?
MAZ: Get pajamas you can answer the door in
AY: Yes, ditch the old baggy sweats and get some nice, stretchy, comfy yoga pants--anything with Lycra. A simple cotton frock is great, too.
MAZ: You'll get your picture taken a lot in those first weeks. You'll feel much better about it if you look good.
REALLY??? I mean, REALLY??!?! Is that the "essential" advice they have to give new moms? These are successful, educated, professional women...and that is what they view as most important in those precious few weeks. Sad. Really. I feel bad for them.
So, here is *my* advice for new moms. Things I wish somebody had told me as I embarked on this journey.
1. If you plan to breastfeed, find a lactation consultant before you deliver your baby, and have her on speed dial. I struggled with nursing soooo much in those early weeks. Partly because we had some major issues, but also because I felt like it was supposed to be "natural" and "beautiful" and "easy"--and it was none of those things for us. None.of.them. Having a lc on hand from day 1 could have saved alot of heartache, and a lot of tissues.
2. Find a support group. It can be a group of friends that are already moms, some family members, neighbors, or complete strangers--but you will need people to reassure you that your child is normal, that you will survive, and that you are a wonderful mommy (even when you have to put your crying baby down so you can pee). Again, if you can line these people up before your water breaks, they will be there in those early days when you really, really need them. If not--make your first weekly outing to some place where you are likely to meet people that will become your support group.
3. Have a food plan. Two things are true of those early weeks. (1) You need to eat, and (2) You will forget to eat. Make sure your freezer and fridge are stocked with easy to prepare food. You will feel better if you have some nutritious food in you. You will not have time or energy to make a 3 course meal. It is amazing what a handful of almonds and a string cheese can do for your outlook on life. Eat something (and drink water) every time the baby eats. Make this a priority.
4. Have a shower plan. You will be stinky. Most women sweat profusely in those early weeks. You will also have at least one, if not all, of the following on you: Pee, poop, vomit, breastmilk, tears, dribbled formula, other bodily fluids. It happens to the cleanest of us. Just like food can change your outlook on life--a shower will change your outlook on the day. It will give you 10 minutes to think (or sob) to yourself. It will relax all of your muscles. And, you will come out feeling like a human being. Trust me. Shower--it does a body good.
5. Don't give a (*^% about your appearance. I mean, if you are a person who cannot feel good about themselves without ironed jeans and freshened makeup--you can do that, I guess. But seriously, your newborn is only going to be a newborn for a few very, very short weeks. Forget about how you look, and focus on what is really important--getting to know this new person. If you want some beautiful family photos--pick a day, take a shower, blow dry your hair, put on makeup, and have a photographer come take pictures. We did this, and I cherish those pics. But seriously, on a daily basis--make sure you and your baby are comfortable, happy, healthy, well fed, rested, and bonding...and then pat yourself on the backand feel great about yourself for getting that much together.
Good idea, I thought. I'll add that book to my list of books to review, I thought.
Then, my May issue of Cookie Magazine included an interview with the book's authors. The last question of the interview goes like this:
Cookie Mag: Any essential new-mom advice you turned up that might never occur to most women?
MAZ: Get pajamas you can answer the door in
AY: Yes, ditch the old baggy sweats and get some nice, stretchy, comfy yoga pants--anything with Lycra. A simple cotton frock is great, too.
MAZ: You'll get your picture taken a lot in those first weeks. You'll feel much better about it if you look good.
REALLY??? I mean, REALLY??!?! Is that the "essential" advice they have to give new moms? These are successful, educated, professional women...and that is what they view as most important in those precious few weeks. Sad. Really. I feel bad for them.
So, here is *my* advice for new moms. Things I wish somebody had told me as I embarked on this journey.
1. If you plan to breastfeed, find a lactation consultant before you deliver your baby, and have her on speed dial. I struggled with nursing soooo much in those early weeks. Partly because we had some major issues, but also because I felt like it was supposed to be "natural" and "beautiful" and "easy"--and it was none of those things for us. None.of.them. Having a lc on hand from day 1 could have saved alot of heartache, and a lot of tissues.
2. Find a support group. It can be a group of friends that are already moms, some family members, neighbors, or complete strangers--but you will need people to reassure you that your child is normal, that you will survive, and that you are a wonderful mommy (even when you have to put your crying baby down so you can pee). Again, if you can line these people up before your water breaks, they will be there in those early days when you really, really need them. If not--make your first weekly outing to some place where you are likely to meet people that will become your support group.
3. Have a food plan. Two things are true of those early weeks. (1) You need to eat, and (2) You will forget to eat. Make sure your freezer and fridge are stocked with easy to prepare food. You will feel better if you have some nutritious food in you. You will not have time or energy to make a 3 course meal. It is amazing what a handful of almonds and a string cheese can do for your outlook on life. Eat something (and drink water) every time the baby eats. Make this a priority.
4. Have a shower plan. You will be stinky. Most women sweat profusely in those early weeks. You will also have at least one, if not all, of the following on you: Pee, poop, vomit, breastmilk, tears, dribbled formula, other bodily fluids. It happens to the cleanest of us. Just like food can change your outlook on life--a shower will change your outlook on the day. It will give you 10 minutes to think (or sob) to yourself. It will relax all of your muscles. And, you will come out feeling like a human being. Trust me. Shower--it does a body good.
5. Don't give a (*^% about your appearance. I mean, if you are a person who cannot feel good about themselves without ironed jeans and freshened makeup--you can do that, I guess. But seriously, your newborn is only going to be a newborn for a few very, very short weeks. Forget about how you look, and focus on what is really important--getting to know this new person. If you want some beautiful family photos--pick a day, take a shower, blow dry your hair, put on makeup, and have a photographer come take pictures. We did this, and I cherish those pics. But seriously, on a daily basis--make sure you and your baby are comfortable, happy, healthy, well fed, rested, and bonding...and then pat yourself on the backand feel great about yourself for getting that much together.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Signs, signs, everywhere signs.
The Tatiman knows sign language. I do not.
He is picking it up somewhere. Where, I don't know, because last I checked he spends every waking hour with me. I did attempt to teach him a few signs when he was around 6 months old, but I gave up after a few days when he wasn't signing and I kept forgetting to show him the signs. Then, about three weeks ago, out of nowhere he started doing those few signs I 'taught' him...and adding his own. It cracks me and DH up because the Tati is clearly trying to tell us something, the same thing, over and over again. Maybe, one day, we will figure it out.
This afternoon I was changing the Tati's post-nap diaper, and he gave me the sign for "more." "More" is usually reserved for mealtimes, when I cannot shovel the food into the Tatiman's face as fast as his highness would desire. We do not keep snacks on the changing table, and Tati knows this. So, I asked Tati "More what?" and he signed "more" again. I said "More kisses?" and gave him a smackeroo on the cheek. He smiled, and signed "more" again. I kissed him again. He giggled...and signed "more" again. Kiss. "More" Kiss *shriek of laughter* "More" Kiss....this went on for a good five minutes. And then, I got the "all done" sign...and with that the Tatiman was off to pull every book he owns off the shelf.
Could I be any luckier? My job is the best in the world. Now, off to study a baby signs book....
He is picking it up somewhere. Where, I don't know, because last I checked he spends every waking hour with me. I did attempt to teach him a few signs when he was around 6 months old, but I gave up after a few days when he wasn't signing and I kept forgetting to show him the signs. Then, about three weeks ago, out of nowhere he started doing those few signs I 'taught' him...and adding his own. It cracks me and DH up because the Tati is clearly trying to tell us something, the same thing, over and over again. Maybe, one day, we will figure it out.
This afternoon I was changing the Tati's post-nap diaper, and he gave me the sign for "more." "More" is usually reserved for mealtimes, when I cannot shovel the food into the Tatiman's face as fast as his highness would desire. We do not keep snacks on the changing table, and Tati knows this. So, I asked Tati "More what?" and he signed "more" again. I said "More kisses?" and gave him a smackeroo on the cheek. He smiled, and signed "more" again. I kissed him again. He giggled...and signed "more" again. Kiss. "More" Kiss *shriek of laughter* "More" Kiss....this went on for a good five minutes. And then, I got the "all done" sign...and with that the Tatiman was off to pull every book he owns off the shelf.
Could I be any luckier? My job is the best in the world. Now, off to study a baby signs book....
Friday, May 15, 2009
Book Review: Millionaire Women Next Door
Millionaire Women Next Door, The Many Journeys of Successful American Businesswomen, by Thomas J. Stanley (author of NY Times Best-Seller The Millionaire Next Door).
To be fair, I did not want to read this book. I wanted to read The Millionaire Next Door. I went to Borders to buy it, and then I decided that my first step toward becoming a millionaire was not to waste my money on a book I could get from the library. When I went to the library, they didn't have The Millionaire Next Door, but they did have this book. Last I checked, I'm a woman, so I thought this book would be relevant enough.
To be fair again, I did not read the entire book. Here is why: On page 6, there is a section entitled "Be Wary". Mr. Stanley writes, "Before you sign that 'unwritten contract of a lifetime' to be a housewife, read Chapter 10 'The High Price of Being Controlled'" RUH ROH. Before my blood hit the boiling point, I took a deep breath and fast forwarded (or, in 'reading terms' flipped pages) to Chapter 10.
Chapter 10. Precious Chapter 10. In a nutshell, Chapter 10 discusses why it is a huge mistake to marry a man that you expect to (a) work in his family's business and/or (b) inherit a large sum of money--and all the lies he will tell you in order to make you hopelessly dependent on him, and all the reasons why that is a bad idea. If you need the advice that Chapter 10 gives you, you need a whole lot more advice. Maybe you should read the rest of this book.
I, for one, was done. I have a 9 month old toddler to worry about, and I don't have time to read this drivel. I did not marry a man who I expect to takeover his non-existent family business, nor am I expecting a windfall inheritance (although a lottery win wouldn't hurt). I skimmed through the book a little bit more to see if I could find some value (and, considering I don't even have to pay late fines...a little value should go a long way).
I did find one paragraph worthy of reading. In Chapter 4 "Opting for Self Employment", Mr. Stanley describes the traits that successful, self-employed, women have in common. "They are self determined. They make their own job opportunities. They write their own job descriptions. They do their own job evaluations. Their efforts are justly rewarded by the objective realities of the market and its consumers, their clients and customers"
That sounds like me. I am self-determined. I am determined to give my son the best I have to offer. I created this opportunity. I picked a husband who I knew would support me in two very separate journeys--one to reach self fulfillment through an education and career, and the other to be a stay at home mom to our children. I wrote this job description. I decided I wanted to teach the Tatiman to love the outdoors by spending time there each day, to cook him organic home made food, to sing him to sleep three times a day. I do my own evaluations. I review each day before I go to bed at night. I think about how I can be a better mom the next day, a better wife, and better to myself. And, I give myself a pat on the back when I deserve it--I may even toot my own horn to DH when he gets home. Most of all, I am rewarded daily. I am rewarded when a stranger approaches me at a restaurant (in front of my own parents, no less) to tell me how impressed they are with my son's behavior. I am rewarded when I find the secret tickle spot and hear belly shaking laughter. I'm rewarded when my husband thanks me for giving our son all I have to give every day.
Mr. Stanley neglected to mention something that successful women do, which I think could actually be of value. They make their own financial decisions. I set my own salary. I think every woman who stays at home with their children should do the same.You can't become a millionaire without money, duh. Kisses and hugs are great for the soul, but they don't buy mama prime shares. Have I mentioned that I specialized in Divorce Law? I never expect to need my own services, but I'm also not naive. I (and every other woman who does not have her own 'income') needs to have her own money, her own budget, her own savings, and her own investments. And, along with her husband, they can work as a team to devise the best strategy for meeting their financial (and other) goals. Would it have been that difficult for Mr. Stanley to include this advice in blasted Chapter 10?
So, Mr. Stanley. I think you missed the mark with this book. You ignored an entire class of business women in this country--those who run a real family business--by staying at home, managing their household, preparing the next generation of achievers. We are out here, and we are fully in control.
To be fair, I did not want to read this book. I wanted to read The Millionaire Next Door. I went to Borders to buy it, and then I decided that my first step toward becoming a millionaire was not to waste my money on a book I could get from the library. When I went to the library, they didn't have The Millionaire Next Door, but they did have this book. Last I checked, I'm a woman, so I thought this book would be relevant enough.
To be fair again, I did not read the entire book. Here is why: On page 6, there is a section entitled "Be Wary". Mr. Stanley writes, "Before you sign that 'unwritten contract of a lifetime' to be a housewife, read Chapter 10 'The High Price of Being Controlled'" RUH ROH. Before my blood hit the boiling point, I took a deep breath and fast forwarded (or, in 'reading terms' flipped pages) to Chapter 10.
Chapter 10. Precious Chapter 10. In a nutshell, Chapter 10 discusses why it is a huge mistake to marry a man that you expect to (a) work in his family's business and/or (b) inherit a large sum of money--and all the lies he will tell you in order to make you hopelessly dependent on him, and all the reasons why that is a bad idea. If you need the advice that Chapter 10 gives you, you need a whole lot more advice. Maybe you should read the rest of this book.
I, for one, was done. I have a 9 month old toddler to worry about, and I don't have time to read this drivel. I did not marry a man who I expect to takeover his non-existent family business, nor am I expecting a windfall inheritance (although a lottery win wouldn't hurt). I skimmed through the book a little bit more to see if I could find some value (and, considering I don't even have to pay late fines...a little value should go a long way).
I did find one paragraph worthy of reading. In Chapter 4 "Opting for Self Employment", Mr. Stanley describes the traits that successful, self-employed, women have in common. "They are self determined. They make their own job opportunities. They write their own job descriptions. They do their own job evaluations. Their efforts are justly rewarded by the objective realities of the market and its consumers, their clients and customers"
That sounds like me. I am self-determined. I am determined to give my son the best I have to offer. I created this opportunity. I picked a husband who I knew would support me in two very separate journeys--one to reach self fulfillment through an education and career, and the other to be a stay at home mom to our children. I wrote this job description. I decided I wanted to teach the Tatiman to love the outdoors by spending time there each day, to cook him organic home made food, to sing him to sleep three times a day. I do my own evaluations. I review each day before I go to bed at night. I think about how I can be a better mom the next day, a better wife, and better to myself. And, I give myself a pat on the back when I deserve it--I may even toot my own horn to DH when he gets home. Most of all, I am rewarded daily. I am rewarded when a stranger approaches me at a restaurant (in front of my own parents, no less) to tell me how impressed they are with my son's behavior. I am rewarded when I find the secret tickle spot and hear belly shaking laughter. I'm rewarded when my husband thanks me for giving our son all I have to give every day.
Mr. Stanley neglected to mention something that successful women do, which I think could actually be of value. They make their own financial decisions. I set my own salary. I think every woman who stays at home with their children should do the same.You can't become a millionaire without money, duh. Kisses and hugs are great for the soul, but they don't buy mama prime shares. Have I mentioned that I specialized in Divorce Law? I never expect to need my own services, but I'm also not naive. I (and every other woman who does not have her own 'income') needs to have her own money, her own budget, her own savings, and her own investments. And, along with her husband, they can work as a team to devise the best strategy for meeting their financial (and other) goals. Would it have been that difficult for Mr. Stanley to include this advice in blasted Chapter 10?
So, Mr. Stanley. I think you missed the mark with this book. You ignored an entire class of business women in this country--those who run a real family business--by staying at home, managing their household, preparing the next generation of achievers. We are out here, and we are fully in control.
Book Reviews...coming soon to a blog near you!
Those who know me would use many words to describe me. "Reader" is not one of them. I certainly can read, and there was a time in my life that I was a voracious reader...but that was before college and law school. Being forced to read upwards of 200 pages of technical material each night ruined me. I've never had the desire to join a book club. I've never asked a friend if I could borrow the current-book-that-turns-people-into-lemmings. I've never even gone to see the movies based on popular books just so I could participate in part of the book-lovers discussions.
So why, you may be asking, am I doing book reviews? Well, suddenly, I am finding that there are books I want to read. And when I read, I think. And when I think, I want to discuss. And when I want to discuss...my DH doesn't always want to listen (ha!). So...I decided to review what I read here. Please feel free to jump in with comments and suggestions.
So why, you may be asking, am I doing book reviews? Well, suddenly, I am finding that there are books I want to read. And when I read, I think. And when I think, I want to discuss. And when I want to discuss...my DH doesn't always want to listen (ha!). So...I decided to review what I read here. Please feel free to jump in with comments and suggestions.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day!!
Today, I celebrated my first official Mother's Day. Last year at this time I was seven months pregnant, and had just stopped vomiting. My DH gave me a card last year, that brought me to tears, because it talked about all of the adventures we had ahead of us.
This year, I am living that adventure.
My Mother's Day started out like any other day. DH brought the Tatiman into bed for his morning nursing, and I snuggled in tight to catch a few more ZZZs. As I was drifting off to sleep, I started thinking about how lucky I am, to have this little person who came into my life and gave me the greatest gift--motherhood. I have been a whole lot of things in my life without the Tati-- a wife, a lawyer, a marathon runner, a world traveler--but he is the ONLY person who could make me a mom. Just as I was feeling so warm with that thought WHAM...pain like I had never felt. Yes, the Tatiman chose that tender and endearing moment to do the one thing I had been dreading since the appearance of two bottom teeth last week--he used those razor sharp new teeth to bite down, eliciting a pain like none before.
Such is the (true) life of a mother. Nobody in this world can bring me more joy (with his smiles, his belly laugh, or his daily accomplishments) or more pain (see above...or see any time his little eyes well up with tears, or he is sick) than my son. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So..to my Tatiman...Thank You* for making this first "official"** Mother's Day such a wonderful day. I look forward to a lifetime of adventures with you.
*By "You" I also mean to thank DH, who gave me the three things I wanted most on this day. (1) Sleeping in (2) A walk without a stroller in tow and (3) a certificate for a day at the spa.
** I know I am truly a mother because I feel that guilt that only a mother has. The truth is, I have celebrated Mother's Day for the past 6 years. Each year, I received a card from my beloved golden retriever, Du. After writing this whole post, and thinking all day about how Tati made me a mom...I now feel guilty--I don't want Du to feel like he didn't make me a mom. So--to Du--thank you for priming me for motherhood of a 2 legged son. And thank you for sharing in my stroller-free walk today.
This year, I am living that adventure.
My Mother's Day started out like any other day. DH brought the Tatiman into bed for his morning nursing, and I snuggled in tight to catch a few more ZZZs. As I was drifting off to sleep, I started thinking about how lucky I am, to have this little person who came into my life and gave me the greatest gift--motherhood. I have been a whole lot of things in my life without the Tati-- a wife, a lawyer, a marathon runner, a world traveler--but he is the ONLY person who could make me a mom. Just as I was feeling so warm with that thought WHAM...pain like I had never felt. Yes, the Tatiman chose that tender and endearing moment to do the one thing I had been dreading since the appearance of two bottom teeth last week--he used those razor sharp new teeth to bite down, eliciting a pain like none before.
Such is the (true) life of a mother. Nobody in this world can bring me more joy (with his smiles, his belly laugh, or his daily accomplishments) or more pain (see above...or see any time his little eyes well up with tears, or he is sick) than my son. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So..to my Tatiman...Thank You* for making this first "official"** Mother's Day such a wonderful day. I look forward to a lifetime of adventures with you.
*By "You" I also mean to thank DH, who gave me the three things I wanted most on this day. (1) Sleeping in (2) A walk without a stroller in tow and (3) a certificate for a day at the spa.
** I know I am truly a mother because I feel that guilt that only a mother has. The truth is, I have celebrated Mother's Day for the past 6 years. Each year, I received a card from my beloved golden retriever, Du. After writing this whole post, and thinking all day about how Tati made me a mom...I now feel guilty--I don't want Du to feel like he didn't make me a mom. So--to Du--thank you for priming me for motherhood of a 2 legged son. And thank you for sharing in my stroller-free walk today.
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