Book Review: Millionaire Women Next Door

Millionaire Women Next Door, The Many Journeys of Successful American Businesswomen, by Thomas J. Stanley (author of NY Times Best-Seller The Millionaire Next Door).

To be fair, I did not want to read this book. I wanted to read The Millionaire Next Door. I went to Borders to buy it, and then I decided that my first step toward becoming a millionaire was not to waste my money on a book I could get from the library. When I went to the library, they didn't have The Millionaire Next Door, but they did have this book. Last I checked, I'm a woman, so I thought this book would be relevant enough.

To be fair again, I did not read the entire book. Here is why: On page 6, there is a section entitled "Be Wary". Mr. Stanley writes, "Before you sign that 'unwritten contract of a lifetime' to be a housewife, read Chapter 10 'The High Price of Being Controlled'" RUH ROH. Before my blood hit the boiling point, I took a deep breath and fast forwarded (or, in 'reading terms' flipped pages) to Chapter 10.

Chapter 10. Precious Chapter 10. In a nutshell, Chapter 10 discusses why it is a huge mistake to marry a man that you expect to (a) work in his family's business and/or (b) inherit a large sum of money--and all the lies he will tell you in order to make you hopelessly dependent on him, and all the reasons why that is a bad idea. If you need the advice that Chapter 10 gives you, you need a whole lot more advice. Maybe you should read the rest of this book.

I, for one, was done. I have a 9 month old toddler to worry about, and I don't have time to read this drivel. I did not marry a man who I expect to takeover his non-existent family business, nor am I expecting a windfall inheritance (although a lottery win wouldn't hurt). I skimmed through the book a little bit more to see if I could find some value (and, considering I don't even have to pay late fines...a little value should go a long way).

I did find one paragraph worthy of reading. In Chapter 4 "Opting for Self Employment", Mr. Stanley describes the traits that successful, self-employed, women have in common. "They are self determined. They make their own job opportunities. They write their own job descriptions. They do their own job evaluations. Their efforts are justly rewarded by the objective realities of the market and its consumers, their clients and customers"

That sounds like me. I am self-determined. I am determined to give my son the best I have to offer. I created this opportunity. I picked a husband who I knew would support me in two very separate journeys--one to reach self fulfillment through an education and career, and the other to be a stay at home mom to our children. I wrote this job description. I decided I wanted to teach the Tatiman to love the outdoors by spending time there each day, to cook him organic home made food, to sing him to sleep three times a day. I do my own evaluations. I review each day before I go to bed at night. I think about how I can be a better mom the next day, a better wife, and better to myself. And, I give myself a pat on the back when I deserve it--I may even toot my own horn to DH when he gets home. Most of all, I am rewarded daily. I am rewarded when a stranger approaches me at a restaurant (in front of my own parents, no less) to tell me how impressed they are with my son's behavior. I am rewarded when I find the secret tickle spot and hear belly shaking laughter. I'm rewarded when my husband thanks me for giving our son all I have to give every day.

Mr. Stanley neglected to mention something that successful women do, which I think could actually be of value. They make their own financial decisions. I set my own salary. I think every woman who stays at home with their children should do the same.You can't become a millionaire without money, duh. Kisses and hugs are great for the soul, but they don't buy mama prime shares. Have I mentioned that I specialized in Divorce Law? I never expect to need my own services, but I'm also not naive. I (and every other woman who does not have her own 'income') needs to have her own money, her own budget, her own savings, and her own investments. And, along with her husband, they can work as a team to devise the best strategy for meeting their financial (and other) goals. Would it have been that difficult for Mr. Stanley to include this advice in blasted Chapter 10?

So, Mr. Stanley. I think you missed the mark with this book. You ignored an entire class of business women in this country--those who run a real family business--by staying at home, managing their household, preparing the next generation of achievers. We are out here, and we are fully in control.