Advice for New Moms...NOT as seen on Today

I admit, the Today Show is my primary news source these days. A few weeks ago, they had a segment featuring two of the show's producers (Mary Ann Zoellner and Alicia Ybarbo) that have written a book about parenting.

Good idea, I thought. I'll add that book to my list of books to review, I thought.

Then, my May issue of Cookie Magazine included an interview with the book's authors. The last question of the interview goes like this:

Cookie Mag: Any essential new-mom advice you turned up that might never occur to most women?

MAZ: Get pajamas you can answer the door in

AY: Yes, ditch the old baggy sweats and get some nice, stretchy, comfy yoga pants--anything with Lycra. A simple cotton frock is great, too.

MAZ: You'll get your picture taken a lot in those first weeks. You'll feel much better about it if you look good.


REALLY??? I mean, REALLY??!?! Is that the "essential" advice they have to give new moms? These are successful, educated, professional women...and that is what they view as most important in those precious few weeks. Sad. Really. I feel bad for them.

So, here is *my* advice for new moms. Things I wish somebody had told me as I embarked on this journey.

1. If you plan to breastfeed, find a lactation consultant before you deliver your baby, and have her on speed dial. I struggled with nursing soooo much in those early weeks. Partly because we had some major issues, but also because I felt like it was supposed to be "natural" and "beautiful" and "easy"--and it was none of those things for us. None.of.them. Having a lc on hand from day 1 could have saved alot of heartache, and a lot of tissues.

2. Find a support group. It can be a group of friends that are already moms, some family members, neighbors, or complete strangers--but you will need people to reassure you that your child is normal, that you will survive, and that you are a wonderful mommy (even when you have to put your crying baby down so you can pee). Again, if you can line these people up before your water breaks, they will be there in those early days when you really, really need them. If not--make your first weekly outing to some place where you are likely to meet people that will become your support group.

3. Have a food plan. Two things are true of those early weeks. (1) You need to eat, and (2) You will forget to eat. Make sure your freezer and fridge are stocked with easy to prepare food. You will feel better if you have some nutritious food in you. You will not have time or energy to make a 3 course meal. It is amazing what a handful of almonds and a string cheese can do for your outlook on life. Eat something (and drink water) every time the baby eats. Make this a priority.

4. Have a shower plan. You will be stinky. Most women sweat profusely in those early weeks. You will also have at least one, if not all, of the following on you: Pee, poop, vomit, breastmilk, tears, dribbled formula, other bodily fluids. It happens to the cleanest of us. Just like food can change your outlook on life--a shower will change your outlook on the day. It will give you 10 minutes to think (or sob) to yourself. It will relax all of your muscles. And, you will come out feeling like a human being. Trust me. Shower--it does a body good.

5. Don't give a (*^% about your appearance. I mean, if you are a person who cannot feel good about themselves without ironed jeans and freshened makeup--you can do that, I guess. But seriously, your newborn is only going to be a newborn for a few very, very short weeks. Forget about how you look, and focus on what is really important--getting to know this new person. If you want some beautiful family photos--pick a day, take a shower, blow dry your hair, put on makeup, and have a photographer come take pictures. We did this, and I cherish those pics. But seriously, on a daily basis--make sure you and your baby are comfortable, happy, healthy, well fed, rested, and bonding...and then pat yourself on the backand feel great about yourself for getting that much together.